Hamilton and hip-hop have taken over the Broadway stage,
And musicals across the land have become all the rage,
If this class of 2016 staged a show who’d be our Tony, our Maria, our Stephen Sondheim?
We know Andy “McNugget” Hull can at least spit some rhymes,
Fenter and Sean will write the sci-fi story for our big Broadway smash,
Camilla can run the box office and handle all of the cash,
Paula will argue adding Disney princesses would be quite transformative,
Until Abbie and Krissy point out princesses are way too heteronormative,
Elli can stage manage and run all the lights,
Sadie will try to convince us to just stage In the Heights,
Greta and Kaleigh will make sure everyone’s got the perfect look,
Austin W.’s headshots’ will be great--at least the ones he actually took,
Alycia’s hair & make-up magic will make everyone look pretty and shiny,
How good is her work? She could even make Ellis look tiny.
Sam Young can find music to give our production that laid-back flow,
Thierry? He’s already got two Youtube channels devoted to our show,
For characters, this class has more than a few,
Kassie will play any role as long as it’s named “Pikachu,”
Let Mysti play the librarian and you know that she’ll thrive,
Brett’s the character who wanders off in act one and then back in act five,
Sam Smith can play the farm girl whose got plenty of sass,
Grandpa character? David Su’a can already pass,
Secret Agent? Oliver’s the most stylishly-dressed guy that we know,
Strong, silent type? Well that’s got to be Joe.
Royalty? Jack P’s already our town’s Produce King,
Jazz Singer? Ella, you know she can make a concert hall ring,
Tyler’s the concussion-prone leading man--don’t give him a bump,
And Lucas better have a good part, or else he might vote for Trump,
Clare can act so well, she could teach Hogie to play delirious,
But even with those skills can she teach Patrick to be serious?
And when disaster strikes and the show must go on?
With the majestic final song, it’s the unstoppable Diana Bond.
This class had mad skills beyond the classroom walls,
Emily S. and Lillian worked walking the hospital’s halls,
Hannah’s ice cream scooping ability made her lots of young fans,
If you need random trivia factoids then Corbin’s your man,
Matthew’s got you covered if you want to know cyclone sand from turface,
Zach Judd’s nailed down the best drive-thru service,
Bryce drives his ATV with his foot heavy on the gas pedal,
Tristan B.’s a connoisseur of all things heavy metal.
Mason will make you hike through the woods and trek, and trek and trek,
“How far’s he making us go?” Bennet asks, “What the heck!?!”
Zephyr can rent you the best kayak in all of PT,
If you see Chloe across a wrestling mat, it’s best to just flee.
Katie carefully observes before saying what she thinks,
While Alex N.’s let’s you know when your class kinda stinks,
Rachel’s got the skills to ship stuff fast ‘cross the seas,
On his doorstep back in Belgium, Vincent’ll find a new Hard Rock tee.
Kaylee’s got the corner on bravery--but keep the Purell away!
Ben C. so charming he’s got the whole Pierson family under his sway.
Senior Superlatives aren’t very PC, so I hope I don’t blow it,
Most Well-Read: Emily H. has the piles of books to show it.
Sinai’s “Most likely to offer insights into the story,”
Knowing the story behind the story? That’s Zeke’s crowning glory.
Mitchell wins “King of Photographic Arts,”
Cody? That guy for sure wins the “Biggest Heart.”
Calvin and Sebastian earned “Always getting along,”
For Sean and Zarah it’s “More off campus than on,”
Eli M.’s “Most likely to change his hair from platinum blonde to black and then back”
Most likely to end up on Jersey Shore: Oh, that’s gotta be Jack.
When you talk about Senior Projects you know students can get a bit leery,
But Madeline was able to make the health department look a little more cheery,
Morgan helped Wesley avoid concussions, like a good friend,
Too bad she couldn’t help Tristan M. from hurting himself again… and again… and again.
Fruini helped youngsters turn books into dreams,
Andrew C. made high school a much nicer scene,
Bethany helped students pick up a guitar with some style,
Shenoa got kids to admit vegetables could be tasty--every once in awhile.
Alex B. helped folks give leadership roles their best try,
Alex G. got young people to watch movies without fancy CGI,
Jacob and Koby challenged people to run fast and run far,
But even they together couldn’t get Miguel out of his car.
This class can be quirkier than most when all’s said and done,
Heck Ben and Groves even made the acronym PTYEC sound fun,
So a few words of warning for future professors just to be fair:
One: On your next date night, expect Stevie to be there,
Two: Camille will sit quietly, then unleash her intellectual power,
Three: Jackson’s going to need you to let him pee at least twice an hour,
Four: Aija will ask you strange questions to catch you a little off-guard,
Five: At some point Alex Fiske is going to fall on her knee really hard,
Six: If Noah’s around expect old photos with strangely young faces,
Seven: Watch out--Reilly will plant trees in the strangest of places,
Eight: Jacob and Ezra will always snag the chairs in the back made of leather,
Nine: Whatever you do don’t make Austin and Keegan sit together!
And Ten: Laure doesn’t really go anywhere without two baby goats under her wing,
But be careful, ‘cause Chase’s raptors might eat those things!
Two more graduates we'd be remiss not mention,
But I won't call them seniors--that might cause some dissension,
One will be off starting revolutions and playing his part,
Forget about math, Dave Thielk always leads with his heart.
Ms. McMather was “real good” at being the favorite teacher, she’ll surely be missed.
I know, Gina, it should have been “really good”--don’t worry we got this!
Well with them that's all that there is of this class of ‘16,
There was so much good drama, but it was never too mean,
As they take their last bows, we know their memory can’t ever be tainted,
But I hear the class of 2017 already has the couch all repainted.
By Benjamin Dow